Question of the Week:
This was my worst Rosh Hashana ever. I come to shul to pray for a good year, and I take it very seriously. I truly believe that if Rosh Hashona goes well, the year will go well too. But someone ruined it for me this year.
Everything was going fine, the chazan was singing beautifully, your sermons were right on the mark, but the seat I was given spoiled everything. The person sitting next to me didn't give me a moment of peace. He couldn't sit still. He was fidgeting and moving around all the time. He had to go out every five minutes and each time I had to stand up to let him pass by. His kids kept coming up to him and asking for snacks and making a mess. He had the sniffles and was blowing his nose loudly to the point that I am not sure if I was hearing the Shofar or him. But the final straw was when he fell asleep on my shoulder and started snoring. That's when I lost it. I pushed him away and told him that he should find somewhere else to take a nap. What type of a year am I going to have if I couldn't pray in peace?
Answer:
Oh no! Oy oy oy! I think you may have missed your moment!
There is a certain point over Rosh Hashana that each one of us has our moment of truth. It is the moment when we stand before G-d to be judged. As we say in the prayers, "And every creature passes before you one by one as a flock of sheep."
We each get our turn, when the light shines on us and we are judged. And we have no idea when our turn is up. It could be during the prayers, or it could be during the festive meal. It may be when we are at home or it may be on the street as we are walking to services. But there is a hint for us to know when that moment comes.
Wherever and whenever that moment comes, we ourselves are being tested. In that moment, we are presented with a situation where we must pass judgment on another person, and the way we judge, whether harshly or kindly, is the way we ourselves are judged.
I think you know when your moment was. It was when your neighbour in shul fell asleep on your shoulder. Rather than judge him favourably ("who knows what's going on in his life? who knows what may have kept him up last night? who knows what struggles he is facing at home?") you just got annoyed.
No one can blame you for getting frustrated. You are human. But it is in the annoying moments like those that our character is really tested. If you take Rosh Hashana seriously then you need to be very alert not just to the prayers but to every interaction with every person. We never know when our moment will arrive.
It's not too late. G-d in His kindness gave us an extension, from Rosh Hashana until Yom Kippur, to fix those little misjudgments and clear the air. So make sure you sit next to that same guy on Yom Kippur. Apologise for your outburst. Give him a bit of slack, and a shoulder to lean on. Then G-d can do the same for you.
Good Shabbos and Good Yomtov, may we all be sealed for a blessed year!
Rabbi Moss