|
Question of the Week: After my recent divorce I have done a lot of thinking. Does the failure of my marriage mean that I didn't marry my soulmate? Or does it mean I did marry the right person, and now I have lost my soulmate...? In other words, was it destined to be, or not? Answer: People have free choice. We can marry Mr Wrong, or divorce Mr Right. We have to take responsibility for choosing a partner, even if things didn't work out. And yet, when a marriage ends in divorce, it's not to say that it was not meant to be in the first place. Alongside the belief in free choice, we also believe that whatever happened in the past was supposed to happen. And so you married the person you were destined to marry. It was meant to be. And it was meant to end. Here is the paradox of faith: What I am about to do is my choice. Once I have done it, it was meant to be. I am responsible for my actions. I made the bed, and I have to sleep in it. But now that I did, I couldn't have slept anywhere else. As painful as it may have been, your divorce was a part of your soul mission. We can only guess why. Perhaps the ill-fated marriage was a correction for something in a past life. It could be you have a soulmate from your previous incarnation that you didn't marry the first time around, as well as a soulmate from your current incarnation, and so you have to marry both. Perhaps you needed to bring a child into the world who otherwise would not have been born. Or perhaps it was a necessary step in your path of learning, bringing you closer to your true self, and your true soulmate. We don't take divorce lightly. It is a tragic last resort when all attempts to heal a toxic marriage have failed. And sometimes it isn't your choice. But if it has happened, you have to trust that this is your soul's path. May G-d give you the strength and wisdom to navigate the next step on that path. Good Shabbos, |