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Question of the Week: I am getting married in two months from now, and last night we had a meeting with the rabbi who will be conducting the ceremony. Something came up which I am quite uncomfortable with: the issue of only the groom giving the bride a ring, and not vice versa. This essentially represents to me that I am being purchased. The idea that there is a problem with the bride also giving the groom a ring seems absurd to me. Surely I have as much say in the agreement to be married as my husband-to-be? I know I am allowed to give the ring after the ceremony. However, I want to exchange rings during the ceremony. Gender equality is a very important issue to me. I am a highly educated woman, and I also value my Jewish identity, but I am quite upset about this. I would like to hear your opinion... Answer: I fully understand your concern. Many couples have asked me the same question. Coming from a modern perspective, it does seem a little lopsided for the man to give the ring exclusively. But I believe when you know the meaning you may feel differently. The chuppah is an exact spiritual operation to join your souls together. It is not just a ceremony representing your existing relationship, it is a life-changing event that creates a new relationship. Before the chuppah you are two souls, after you are one. Still two individuals, with two minds and two hearts, but a united soul. We can understand how two souls can become one by observing how two bodies can become one. The act of reproduction is the physical union of man and woman. In this bodily union, the man gives and the woman receives. Only this way can new life be created, a child, in which man and woman have become one flesh. The physical world is a mirror image of the spiritual world, and the workings of the soul are reflected by the workings of the body. Just as physical intimacy is the union of bodies, the wedding ceremony is an act of spiritual intimacy, uniting souls. And so in this act of spiritual union the man, expressing the male power of being a bestower, gives the ring to the woman, the feminine receiver. An exchange of rings doesn't create unity, just as an exchange of seed for egg would not produce a child. Only when the groom gives the ring and the bride receives it, then this singular act of his giving and her receiving produces oneness. Any attempt to alter that process would be, quite literally, counterproductive. We can't play around with the facts of life. The spiritual life has facts too. May you and your partner be blessed with true oneness, and from that oneness may many little ones come. Good Shabbos, Rabbi Moss Sources:
To ask your question, or to subscribe, CLICK HERE or email [email protected] Tanya class continues this Monday 8pm. Here is the last class:
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NEW PHOTOCOPIER ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After many happy years churning out the Nefesh newsletter each week, our photocopier machine has suddenly decided to 'retire'. We have found a replacement machine but need the community's help to purchase it. Please CLICK HERE to donate towards this project or email [email protected] if you can help - any amount is appreciated, and thank you to those who have already donated! A huge thank you to Gordon Jackson who donated our previous copier - it has served us well!
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SERVICE TIMES ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, 12 June 2015 | 25 Sivan 5775 Candle Lighting 4:35 pm Mincha 4:45 pm SHIUR: The Kabbalists Speak 5:15 pm Friday Night Shabbos Service with Children's Program 6:00-6:50 pm Followed by Kiddush sponsored by Jonathan Shapira and Gilda Cohen-Shapira in honour of the following yorzteits; Gilda's brother Eddie Cohen z"l - Tuvia ben Moshe 8 Sivan, Jonathan's aunt Valerie Bennett z"l - Ariella bat Eliezer 19 Sivan and Jonathan's father Miron Shapira z"l - Meir ben Yosef 24 Sivan- Long Life.
Shabbos, 13 June 2015 | 26 Sivan 5775 Parshas Shlach Shabbos Mevorchim Chassidism Class 9:00 am Shabbos Morning Service 10:00 am-12:15 pm Children's Program 11:00 am Followed by Kiddush sponsored by Kevin and Sheryl Levine in honour of Kevin's birthday - Mazal Tov!
Mincha 4:30pm Pirkei Avos Chapter 3 Seudah Shlishis in honour of the Aufruf and wedding of Matthew Pollak and Tali Borowski - Mazal Tov! Shabbos ends and Maariv 5:34 pm
WEEKDAY SERVICES Shacharis Sunday 8:00am Monday-Friday 7:00am Latest Shema this week 9:23 am
ROSH CHODESH TAMMUZ - WEDNESDAY-THURSDAY 17 - 18 JUNE MOLAD/NEW MOON 2:55:6AM
MAZEL TOV Kaye & Ron Pollak on Matthew's aufruf and upcoming marriage to Tali Borowski
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Justin Rosenberg 26 Sivan/ 13 June
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY John and Linda Isdale 27 Sivan/ 14 June
LONG LIFE TO THE FOLLOWING WHO HAVE YORZEITS THIS WEEK Anne Sarzin for her late mother Bertha Elizabeth (Betty) Levy, Elisheva bat Avraham 25 Sivan/ 12 June. Jackie Regos for her late father Paul Vertes, Henanya Meyer ben Shmuel Yehuda 25 Sivan/ 12 June. Adam Pisk for his late grandfather Alan Kaufman Milston, Avraham ben Yaacov 28 Sivan/ 15 June Eric Borecki for his late father Osher Borecki, Asher ben Yoseph 29 Sivan/ 16 June.
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