Question of the Week:
My family suffered a great loss with the passing of my grandfather almost 2 years ago. Since then, some members of the family have found great comfort and solace in consulting with a psychic medium to get messages from 'the other side'. The psychic is often very accurate and it is chilling how the messages are able to come through.
I worry though what the Jewish perspective is on this all. Does Judaism believe in this practice at all? Is there any harm to her or to ourselves?
Answer:
Death does not end a relationship. It just changes the mode of contact. The Torah specifies ways that we can connect to souls on high, and ways that we shouldn't.
We are forbidden to call upon them through mediums, not because it doesn't work, but because it's simply not nice. We should not disturb their rest. There is a reason that souls move on to higher places - that is where they belong. By using spiritual tactics to communicate with them we drag them back down here, and impede their journey upwards.
But there are gentle ways of connecting with the departed without disturbing them. If we visit their grave, it is like leaving a message in their supernal inbox. They will get it. And they may even respond, in their own way. But we mustn't force it.
More than that, we can send them love packages. Every time we do something good in their memory - an act of charity, a prayer, kaddish, or any mitzvah that is done in honour of their soul - this gives them a spiritual lift, and eases the elevation of their soul to higher places of rest.
I am sure the family would rather elevate your grandfather's soul than drag it down. It is not worth the temporary solace it may provide if it means harming the soul of a loved one. So they should rather honour him by doing more good. That will benefit the doer, the receiver and the soul of your grandfather.
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss