Question of the Week
This has been my worst Chanukah ever. My relationship has ended and I am alone again. I really trusted this time, and I was let down. I don't think I can go through this any more. How many times can a heart be broken before you just say enough!?
Answer:
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this pain. Just don't give up now. It's Chanukah. And the story of Chanukah is a beginner's manual on surviving heartbreak.
I'm sure you are familiar with the tale. The Syrian-Greeks, who had conquered Israel and contaminated the Temple, had just been defeated by the Jewish rebels called the Maccabees. The victorious Jews went about rededicating the Temple, but could not find any pure olive oil with which to light the Temple candles. The Greeks had systematically defiled all the oil they could find.
But the Jews kept looking. It was almost as if they knew that they would find something. And they did. One jar of oil, pure and untouched, lay hidden in the Temple. The Maccabees joyously lit the candles, although aware that the oil was only enough for one night. But it lasted eight days, exactly enough time to produce new pure oil.
That jar of oil represents the unbreakable spirit at the core of every person. You have a soul, a divine spark, a holy light, which is untouchable, cannot be harmed, its light cannot be dimmed. People can hurt you, but they can't extinguish your spark. Now is when you need to find that spark.
Your sanctuary has been contaminated, your heart broken and your trust shattered. You have every right to be angry at the world, to close up your emotions and shrivel into a lonely depression. But then the world will miss out on your light.
Follow the lead of the Maccabees. Search until you find that unbreakable essence at your core. If all you see is brokenness, keep looking until you find your wholesomeness. It is there. It is always there. Believe that you can love and trust again. Pray for your hidden jar of hope to surface. Once it does, it will shine long enough for your heart to heal.
Good Shabbos and Happy Chanukah,
Rabbi Moss