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My Wedding Plans Out the Window!?

Monday, 27 April, 2020 - 1:46 am


Question of the Week: 


We were so excited about our wedding. We had picked a date that seemed perfect, but before we could plan any further this pandemic hit. Now we have a tough choice: to hold a small gathering of just very close family sooner, or postpone for who knows when and have the whole celebration. To me both seem like second best. How can I look at this positively when I won't have the wedding I planned, on the date I chose and with the guests I wanted?




I have news for you. You never chose the date of your wedding. Nobody does.


A wedding is too holy for mere mortals to plan. It is decreed in heaven whom you marry. It is also decreed in heaven when your wedding will take place, and who will be there. 


We may think we picked a date because it has some sentimental significance, or because the hall was available that day. No. It was the day you had to get married. That's why the hall became available, or why that day took on meaning. It was your day all along, picked for you by G-d Himself. 


Each day has its own personality, its unique energy and its particular blessings. There is one day that is for you. You will always be led to choose it as your wedding day, because it is. Sometimes it takes a pandemic to move your wedding to the date it was meant to be. 


And the guest list is also divinely ordained. Every person at your chuppah adds their soul energy, their particular aura and presence to the occasion. And only those who should be there will be there. We can never know why some people make it and some don't. The right balance is created by having the perfect combination of souls for your chuppah. Sometimes that's a smaller crowd, sometimes bigger. But always right. 


Getting married means believing that you have met the one that G-d made for you. It also means believing that the date and the guest list are exactly right for you too. Whether you do it smaller sooner, or bigger later, it will be perfect. Mazel tov!

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss

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